im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
areolas are like halos for boobs.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
