It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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