we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
