Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
