She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
