Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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