Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
