Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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