I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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