Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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