put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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