At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
and she was petting her beer can
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
