i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
