...so i touched it.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
