sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
