Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
