he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
