It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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