how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
