Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
