if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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