He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
