I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
