Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
