I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
