some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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