I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
