Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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