I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
