whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
