Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
