dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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