just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
