I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
