5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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