Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
