I feel like abortions should bother me more
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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