you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
