Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
