At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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