His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
