i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
