I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
