He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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