I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
