Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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