He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
