win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize