she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
