Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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