i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize