Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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