as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
