I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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