You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
