where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The chlamydia really affected his face.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
