I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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