i think my tv is drunk
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
