well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
